June 7, 2010

PG: Today I deserve a 100 because we worked Napkin. I'm just going to say that directing is fucking hard, bro. Like, I totally missed so many things and I am so thankful that Lou is here to help. It's also really cool to watch another person, or another type of person direct. It's like different acting methods... but not. Haha.

So today I started work in the Appy department at ShopRite. I was never a fan of lunch meat... now I hate it even more. That shit is NASTY. The job was easy. Tedious, but easy. And i need to wear this dumb hat. And i got up this morning and ran a mile. Then went into wrok at five. So i'm sooo beat. Just figured i;d mention i got a job. yay cash!

June 2, 2010

PG: Today I deserve a 100 because we worked my scene and I feel like I have a way better grasp on it. Before I feel like I was taking the entire thing way to seriously, like it was a political piece that was meant to like, cause riots and such. I was making everything too big and serious, leading to a lot of confusion when I would come across things that didn't seem as such. However, now, I feel like I understand it, and will be better equipped when I have to direct on my own next week. I'm actually really excited to re-do some of the blocking now that I know making it smaller won't kill the piece.

When I got home it was like I was on a mission. I found my director's book (yay) and went through everything I had again. For starters, I researched project management, and that is for sure what our girls are doing! I really liked the way the shot galsses worked today, and the way Kelsey just took ownership of them made my day. I emailed Daria about Props and sound, sharing what I had with her, and tomorrow I've downloaded all we've discussed in class together today and put it on a playlist. I got to Hope about costumes, and we've been going back and fourth and have came to an agreement and what it should look like and I'm very happy with the outcome. we have pictures for tomorrow.

May 24, 2010

I graduate in less than a month.
PG: 100. Today I deserve a 100 because this is the first legitimate class I've had in a month! It felt so good to have a teacher again (although I love Lou, I miss you :[) Asssskisss! haha, anyways. It also felt really good to do a monologue. I've done this monolgoue with two different arttisits, and it's really cool to see what direction each of them lead you in to still get an arch, but with a different outcome. I love the play Dog Sees God. I hope one day I can like, adapt it into a screenplay or even like, colobrate with Bert V. Royal.

Journal: I'm staying after to tech the dance show. Do I still need to write a review and/ or do journals?

Catch Me If You Can

PG: Today I deserve a 100 because I, along with the rest of the seniors pulled a pretty decent lesson plan out of our asses because we didn't have the movie to watch. There may have been some kind of miscommunication today because Javi didn't know if he was supposed to have the movie or what? So, hopefully everything will get worked out for tomorrow so this doesn't have to happen again.

So, We didn't watch All The President's Men today because we didn't have the movie. Instead, we... well, Matt gave the freshman a mini history lesson about the Watergate Scandal so that they have some information about the movie. After we finished that, we put on the movie "Catch Me If You Can" (Matt also had that with him) so we can give than an example of how to analytically look at a moive. We started them off nicely, so that they can do the same thing tomorrow.

It's already May...

...holy shit.
PG: Today I deserve a 100 because 1) I took the exit exam... cake. 2) I gave a film history lecture which to be honest, I was really unprepared for... I learned though. 3) After the freshman were gone Matt was teaching how to do autocad and I actually got some of it. Productive day, for sure.

Hmm... I gave my first "lecture" today. The one thing I love more than anything about being in this program besides the opportunities we're offered and the hands on experience we get is the chance to teach. By the end of senior year, you've directed... or tried too, and will have taught a class something. Although this year the circumstances are special, so the teaching is a little more than normal. But, it's such a learning expeierence. It just makes me feel like I have more of an edge... like, I almost have a one up in some ways on other kids, because I've taught something.

ALSO, because I know you will read this and my blackberry is dumb,
We'll stop and watch the movie... but before that we'll go over that slide one more time, just to make sure we're clear on somethings. And the slide show and Scorsese sounds great. I have a great book by Roger Ebert about criticism and his relationship with Scorsese. I can go through it one more time and if you would like I can bring it in and we can read some stuff?... Just text me or email me... I'll get it eventually :]

Desperatly need to get this out.

I'm spilling, because I am so done with the bullshit that is the morning class of our shop. it's so ridiculous that at this point i really need to wonder why any of them are there... besides like three people who repeadtly prove they should be there. we got an agenda for the week, cool. follow it. there are like, 4 groups that need to make their film, that's one group per day on the mac to edit because the films are already shot. or do the make up work. NOT SIT AROUND AND PLAY CARDS WHEN THERE IS A SHOW TO BE STRUCK IN THE AUDITORIUM YOU LAZY MOTHER FUCKERS. does this class realize that the only reason this fucking mainstage went up was because of the dedication of the senior class and the senior class cleaning up after them and the senior class taking on jobs that they were "overwhelmed" with work. bullshit. i have no sympathy. i've earned my keep and i did three jobs this show and i didn't have an emotional breakdown. anyway. so, while they were sitting there not doung any of the things in the cirriculm that was sent (keep in mind, the mainstage was NOT in my cirrculm) did anyone think... hey! there's a show that needs to be put up so we should strike our (well, the senior's) show? NO. ok, today the sub wouldn't let them in... did any one think to call aladren or a senior to again save the day? what about monday and tuesday? oh! i know where they were. cosmo. bullshitting. it's reatrded. i'm feeling so taken advantage of. and now, the freshman loose a day of reharsal because we are striking a show that was put up by us. bullllshit. what are there people going to do? they cannot realy on spoon feedings. they all have talent but no drive. i'm so upset by this, and so dissapointed. they let down the seniors, they let down the freshman. not to mention i found moldy food scattered about today. i'm so done. i was never like this as an underclassmen. like i said, i earned my keep. good luck to the upcoming juniors, because at the rate thier going now (plus or minus a few) they're on the path to becoming my seniors. no drive. no care. THIS IS WHY I DESERVE A 100.

I'm at Hayley's house!

Participation Grade: 100. Today I deserve a 100 because I'm actually a student in our school who cares about our work. I'm not there to bullshit and stuff, I'm learning, AND I'm on the honor role AND I'm accomplishing my goals and "not going to the army because I'm not 'smart' enough for college." The people in our class are such an inspiration to not be those people. Is this making sense?

Today Hayley and I went to Roosevelt Park and we ran around the lake like 4 times. She totally kicked my ass. Uhm... what else. I stole subs from honor role! Oh! yeah, I get to give out those scrolly things for the new members. In shop today in I "learnt" how to write feet and inches the right way... suprsingly I never learned that in grammer school. Today was really uneventful. Bye!

Mid Early Life Crisis. Not Really.

PG: Today I deserve a 100 because I'm and idiot and have no faith in myself and this is the one part of my future that I can control so if I can determine this and be in control of this and make this work out in my advantage then I will. That is why I get a 100.

So, today I had a bit of a mini-breakdown, which is appropriate, being I have this feeling of "I'm an idiot, what am I doing" ever since I've picked up Napkin. And being that I keep trying, but I'm not getting almost anything right, I've been contemplating for like, the past three days, if I'm really cut out for this business. Now, this takes me back to the whole Waiting for Guffman chat we had last year... But before I get to that, I just want to explain my logic. Katelin is a control freak, you know this. I've always been one of those people who figure things out fast, can lead people easily, yadayadayada. Then boom, this directing thing pops into my lap, and I guess hearing you say I have the personality of a director combined with always seeing the finshed product of a project, rather than really watching or particpating in directing, I thought it would be kinda sorta easy. Don't shoot. So when I didn't immideatly take to it, or immideatly get it, I felt so discouraged. Thus, leading me to belive that maybe this isn't the path I should be choosing. I don't know what other back up paths I had to bring this conclusion full circle... but I was just like so emo teenager about the whole thing I didn't care. So that's been me for the past two days. And then today. I have that whole, WTF moment in shop... and you look at me like I'm nuts. Then I go home and sulk about being like wow, I said something dumb, and then I reached my Waiting For Guffman moment while reading Waiting for Godot (awesome play, by the way) and I thought. What else coulfd I really do and be happy? Better, what could I do WELL, contribute to society, and be happy. And of course, I scanned the list that I like to pretends exists in my mind, but at this point in time I already know that the answer is nothing. And then I thought about what you said, with, "every first director hates their first show"... i really need to stop being so hard on myself, because you're right. I can't walk into somewhere, especially North Carolina and act like I haven't th slightest clue... even though I kinda don't. I'm learning, that's why there's college, So i can not look like as big a jackass as I do now when I try this again. I guess, I don't know? I'm sorry for doubting myself? I'm really embarassed now. I hate like, shit like this... this whiny bullshit. But I'm allowed to do that every so often, right? Becasue i really hate this shit. I'm so done. But thank you for looking at me the way you did and saying what you said today during class.

March 11, 2010

PG: Today I deserve a 100 because I showed up. Senioritis is killing the shit out of me, and as lame and cheesy as this sounds, the only thing getting me to school in the morning is shop. Like, really. I don't want to go to the rest of my classes, but with shop at the end of the day, it's a double edged sword. It gives me something to look forward to, but I also have to wait to get there.

When my babies, Kelsey and Baby K, or Dashana say that they've learned something from me, I feel like I'm seriously floating. It's such an awesome feeling to know that you can pass something on to the people younger than you, and that they look up to you enough to take in and absord what you have to say. I know I keeping dissing my seniors- but I can now because I feel like I've had freshman of my own long enough to do so. It's obvious that they didn't care if I learned something or not... not even in a malicious way, they just didn't belong where they were. Which is what really drives me to get to shop at the end of the day (read above PG paragraph) is knowing that not coming in would let them down. I had seniors who didn't care... if they didn't want to come to school for whatever reason, their freshman showcase rehearsal didn't stop them from doing so. Is it a good things that it's stopping me? Because I want to pass on to them everything I can and make this expierence for them something they will never foregt, and hopefully, when they have freshman, they can teach them everything I've taught them and like a katrillion times more.

Options

PG: 100. Today I deserve a 100 because I was in class, and I pretty much ran a production meeting that was no my responsibility to run. I love Daria to death, but she has no clue, therefore, I'm teaching her to stage manage while taking care of everything else. I take that back- I deserve a 100 because I'm capable of making decisions.

Aside from all the training I've undergone here and what I've learned about art, work ethic and the ability to make a decision is the best thing I've learned here. It's really annoying being in a class with some people who are absolutely incapable of making a decision. Now I know how annoying I must have been as a freshman, I was always like what- how do I do this? What do I do? So, I try to the best of my ability to teach the freshmen something whenever I get the chance, so maybe, but the time they're seniors, they won't be as annoying as some of mine. Like, really? FIGURE OUT WHERE THE TABLE GOES. Why do you need to ask me every five friggin seconds? HELLLOOO COLLEGE!

March 4, 2010

PG: 100. Tablework went well today, and i deserve a 100 because this was the first day of tablework for the showcase, and i'm not saying i did everything right, but it felt like an actual rehearsal. it was nice. i felt older though, like. wow. remembering back on my showcase i didn't even do tabkework.

so i had the production meeting with the designers today and it was ok. matt was collaborative... daria didn't seem prepared... sisco isn't a designer so i kinda of just went along with him... hope seemed a little to set in her own ideas to accept that of mine... like saying maybe to stray away from green because javi was using it? i really don't think it will be that big of a deal. but it was a first meeting, so we'll see what happens. oh yeah, i need to send her pictures of pants suites because apparently no one wears them anymore? ok. anyways. uh... tablework, coolbeans. they both have so much energy, it's really refreshing to see them excited and ready to work.

March 3, 2010

PG: Today, I deserve a 100 percent because I was assigned one of the easiest jobs ever, and I actually took it seriously. I explained some safety stuff to the freshmen and answered questions about the things the encountered. I took the whole "babysitting" thing pretty seriously, everything got on the right track for things to get done, so everything worked out well.

Today was eventful to say the least, and thus, I'm already exhausted and I'm not even done yet. The most eye opening event happened for me today, and it wasn't the result of a lecture or anything. I'm going to college. I'm leaving. This is the last time that I have to deal with the petty bullshit that is our school, and the people who go and work there or work for there. I'm done. And while that's a scary feeling, it's freeing. I have to continue working, but this part of my life is over. I'm going to college, and it's awesome. Ever since yesterday I've been considering teaching. Looking back on my experience with the freshmen was real eye opening, which all leads back to inspiration lying in myself. I definitely want to go to film school and become a film maker... but the Katelin Perry Film Institute still doesn't sound bad :)

What? Am I actually blogging?

PG: 100% Today I deserve a 100 because I actually remembered to to my blog. But seriously, I taught the freshman, and they seemed to understand everything once I explained it to them. I know I'll have to teach at some point, so it's good to get my practice in now.

So two major thoughts for today: Directing, help. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing... which I know I don't, and I just feel like I don't know what the play is about. I did the beats and events, and I feel like none of that is right. I sent you an email about that. Could you help me tomorrow? And another thing, I joined a gym today, and I got a cork. Is there anyway because I'm an acting major this marking level I could incorporate the old journals into this?

PG: Today I deserve a 100 for not dying. That fucking U arts essays, man. really makes me want to cry. i got constructive criticism, did another soc, and had help from hope and javi so hopefully everything will go well later tonight.

omg. editing film/ essay writing makes me want to cry when combined with the type of mood i'm in today. here's the soc i wrote, explains everything:

what the fuck u arts? on some real fucking shit? asking an artist what inspires them is like asking someone why they breathe? inspiration is around me, i'm an artist. i can see something ands it makes me want to move. but more than anything i want to make thoe things that people see and what.. oh ok. i want to be the creater of the things people see and want to do thigs after seeing. like, i wonder how other arisits feel abouyt that? like scorses? does he realize he's inspired a whole legion of artits to make art? does he realize he's made me went to make films? i mean, ok.. maybe not films just like him, but films. if i can amek one thought evoking project, direct one thought evoking play or movie that makes people open their eyes, i would be happy. i want people to see what i do and do one of two things: think or laugh. i love seeing people laugh and i love knowing that i have something to do with it. like, i love doing improv and watching people crack up at me putting myselfg on the line. and in a way, directing is the exact same way. you're putting your mind on display in hopes of making people gain an understanding of themselves and the world around them. it's silly, but i just want to make people happy. and discover. and learn... without having to teach it to them. like, the first time i ever saw raging bull i felt like, ok, could i do that ever? could i ever direct anything as good as that just was? i ran the gamet of emotions while watcching that film.. like mad woah. i don't know. and making people laugh. like i said before, if i couod make something thought evoking and edgy... just once i would be happy. but laughter. that's me. laughter is youth. i have s youthful soul, and at the heart of everything, i look at life thorugh the eyes of a child. sometimes i wish i didn't. but it's who im. i don't listen to hip indie folk and shit. dude, i've tried it, and i just can't wrap myhead around it. i appriciate it, but no. iw ould much rather go to warped tour or see badfish then go to a decemberisits concert. radio head is cool and all, but throw me some bab marley or some all time low, and i'm fucking good. plays movies, book, anything. the pole i'm surrounded by make me feel so inadaqute sometimes... and i'm not sure if it's no purpose or not. liek there are obviously some poeple who i know don't mean to, and we're just different people. but i know there are pople who theink they are better than me because of it. tony kushner? cool guy. he writes undoubtly awesome plays. but if i had a choice between that and dog sees god. sorry angels in america, it's a no go. our lady of 121st street cathes my attention faster the a bright room called day. ugh. sometimes i feel llike i'm not a real artist. if i had the choice between watchiing the seveth seal or the hagover, i'd rather watch the hangpover. step brothers beats the shit out of vanya on whatever the fuck place, oh! uncle vanya, step brothers kicks the shit out of it anyday. i fucking like lady gaga and ke$ha thank you very much. and whatever, back to my point. if i could direct one thing thought evoking, but spend the rest of my life making movies like step brothers or directing plays like dog sees god, i could die happy. laughter is some for of change. inwant to make people happy, and i know i can, eventually. i just have so much to learn. i don't say deep metaphorical shit, i just don't. i;m not that person. my shitty is whitty, my shit isn't well thought out, it's honest. it comes out. i hate dwelling, but i have to dwell on this because it means so much to me. i want to change people, want people to see the world through new eyes and i want to jnow i'm responsible for it. i want to people be happy when they see what i do. i want people to have the same revaltion that i just had about no matter how small or big a change is, art has the capacity to do thaty for someone. if i can have other people know that, it means i've contributed. it mean's i've helped. i'm an aritst, and i need to this. i need to make this happen. i don't matter anymore. i don't get lost in editing this film because i like it, i'm doing it becasue i want othert people to not do what i did. don't completly write off your drug addict uncle becuase it doesn';t take away form the fact that's he's your uncle. because he might die. i want people to never do that. like, i hope that no one is in that circumstance, but if they are, i hope that can look at what i did, and what my family is allowing me to capture and not do that. i want people to thinking of who they care about and tell them that they love them becuase you never know when it's over. i want people to realize that family really is more than blood. i think if people knew this, they coulld be a peace with some many things. they could be sp happy. i could save family's relationships. i want my mom to see this and know that there is a solid remeberance of my uncle that he deserves. i want to commeorate what a great talent and person my uncle was. he deserves it. the world deserbes to know who he is, and the deserve to know me too.

My first college app is in,

PG: 100. edited like a mofo. I kinda of miss acting on Mondays, but at the same time- I love what I have been doing. Today I went through all found allt he audio issues and put together a whole section of film roughly.

So I've decided that I would be happy as a cinematographer/ director/ actor/ artist. I really need and want to do it all. I want to have a dance/ theatre company with Hayley. I want to film movies- especially comedies. If I can make one Scorsese-esque thought evoking piece that was recongnized, I would be happy. But I want to make people laugh- oh, which leads to my other interest- I want to be on SNL. Ok. I'm done.