Participation Grade: 100. Today I deserve a 100 because I'm actually a student in our school who cares about our work. I'm not there to bullshit and stuff, I'm learning, AND I'm on the honor role AND I'm accomplishing my goals and "not going to the army because I'm not 'smart' enough for college." The people in our class are such an inspiration to not be those people. Is this making sense?
Today Hayley and I went to Roosevelt Park and we ran around the lake like 4 times. She totally kicked my ass. Uhm... what else. I stole subs from honor role! Oh! yeah, I get to give out those scrolly things for the new members. In shop today in I "learnt" how to write feet and inches the right way... suprsingly I never learned that in grammer school. Today was really uneventful. Bye!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Mid Early Life Crisis. Not Really.
PG: Today I deserve a 100 because I'm and idiot and have no faith in myself and this is the one part of my future that I can control so if I can determine this and be in control of this and make this work out in my advantage then I will. That is why I get a 100.
So, today I had a bit of a mini-breakdown, which is appropriate, being I have this feeling of "I'm an idiot, what am I doing" ever since I've picked up Napkin. And being that I keep trying, but I'm not getting almost anything right, I've been contemplating for like, the past three days, if I'm really cut out for this business. Now, this takes me back to the whole Waiting for Guffman chat we had last year... But before I get to that, I just want to explain my logic. Katelin is a control freak, you know this. I've always been one of those people who figure things out fast, can lead people easily, yadayadayada. Then boom, this directing thing pops into my lap, and I guess hearing you say I have the personality of a director combined with always seeing the finshed product of a project, rather than really watching or particpating in directing, I thought it would be kinda sorta easy. Don't shoot. So when I didn't immideatly take to it, or immideatly get it, I felt so discouraged. Thus, leading me to belive that maybe this isn't the path I should be choosing. I don't know what other back up paths I had to bring this conclusion full circle... but I was just like so emo teenager about the whole thing I didn't care. So that's been me for the past two days. And then today. I have that whole, WTF moment in shop... and you look at me like I'm nuts. Then I go home and sulk about being like wow, I said something dumb, and then I reached my Waiting For Guffman moment while reading Waiting for Godot (awesome play, by the way) and I thought. What else coulfd I really do and be happy? Better, what could I do WELL, contribute to society, and be happy. And of course, I scanned the list that I like to pretends exists in my mind, but at this point in time I already know that the answer is nothing. And then I thought about what you said, with, "every first director hates their first show"... i really need to stop being so hard on myself, because you're right. I can't walk into somewhere, especially North Carolina and act like I haven't th slightest clue... even though I kinda don't. I'm learning, that's why there's college, So i can not look like as big a jackass as I do now when I try this again. I guess, I don't know? I'm sorry for doubting myself? I'm really embarassed now. I hate like, shit like this... this whiny bullshit. But I'm allowed to do that every so often, right? Becasue i really hate this shit. I'm so done. But thank you for looking at me the way you did and saying what you said today during class.
So, today I had a bit of a mini-breakdown, which is appropriate, being I have this feeling of "I'm an idiot, what am I doing" ever since I've picked up Napkin. And being that I keep trying, but I'm not getting almost anything right, I've been contemplating for like, the past three days, if I'm really cut out for this business. Now, this takes me back to the whole Waiting for Guffman chat we had last year... But before I get to that, I just want to explain my logic. Katelin is a control freak, you know this. I've always been one of those people who figure things out fast, can lead people easily, yadayadayada. Then boom, this directing thing pops into my lap, and I guess hearing you say I have the personality of a director combined with always seeing the finshed product of a project, rather than really watching or particpating in directing, I thought it would be kinda sorta easy. Don't shoot. So when I didn't immideatly take to it, or immideatly get it, I felt so discouraged. Thus, leading me to belive that maybe this isn't the path I should be choosing. I don't know what other back up paths I had to bring this conclusion full circle... but I was just like so emo teenager about the whole thing I didn't care. So that's been me for the past two days. And then today. I have that whole, WTF moment in shop... and you look at me like I'm nuts. Then I go home and sulk about being like wow, I said something dumb, and then I reached my Waiting For Guffman moment while reading Waiting for Godot (awesome play, by the way) and I thought. What else coulfd I really do and be happy? Better, what could I do WELL, contribute to society, and be happy. And of course, I scanned the list that I like to pretends exists in my mind, but at this point in time I already know that the answer is nothing. And then I thought about what you said, with, "every first director hates their first show"... i really need to stop being so hard on myself, because you're right. I can't walk into somewhere, especially North Carolina and act like I haven't th slightest clue... even though I kinda don't. I'm learning, that's why there's college, So i can not look like as big a jackass as I do now when I try this again. I guess, I don't know? I'm sorry for doubting myself? I'm really embarassed now. I hate like, shit like this... this whiny bullshit. But I'm allowed to do that every so often, right? Becasue i really hate this shit. I'm so done. But thank you for looking at me the way you did and saying what you said today during class.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
March 11, 2010
PG: Today I deserve a 100 because I showed up. Senioritis is killing the shit out of me, and as lame and cheesy as this sounds, the only thing getting me to school in the morning is shop. Like, really. I don't want to go to the rest of my classes, but with shop at the end of the day, it's a double edged sword. It gives me something to look forward to, but I also have to wait to get there.
When my babies, Kelsey and Baby K, or Dashana say that they've learned something from me, I feel like I'm seriously floating. It's such an awesome feeling to know that you can pass something on to the people younger than you, and that they look up to you enough to take in and absord what you have to say. I know I keeping dissing my seniors- but I can now because I feel like I've had freshman of my own long enough to do so. It's obvious that they didn't care if I learned something or not... not even in a malicious way, they just didn't belong where they were. Which is what really drives me to get to shop at the end of the day (read above PG paragraph) is knowing that not coming in would let them down. I had seniors who didn't care... if they didn't want to come to school for whatever reason, their freshman showcase rehearsal didn't stop them from doing so. Is it a good things that it's stopping me? Because I want to pass on to them everything I can and make this expierence for them something they will never foregt, and hopefully, when they have freshman, they can teach them everything I've taught them and like a katrillion times more.
When my babies, Kelsey and Baby K, or Dashana say that they've learned something from me, I feel like I'm seriously floating. It's such an awesome feeling to know that you can pass something on to the people younger than you, and that they look up to you enough to take in and absord what you have to say. I know I keeping dissing my seniors- but I can now because I feel like I've had freshman of my own long enough to do so. It's obvious that they didn't care if I learned something or not... not even in a malicious way, they just didn't belong where they were. Which is what really drives me to get to shop at the end of the day (read above PG paragraph) is knowing that not coming in would let them down. I had seniors who didn't care... if they didn't want to come to school for whatever reason, their freshman showcase rehearsal didn't stop them from doing so. Is it a good things that it's stopping me? Because I want to pass on to them everything I can and make this expierence for them something they will never foregt, and hopefully, when they have freshman, they can teach them everything I've taught them and like a katrillion times more.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Options
PG: 100. Today I deserve a 100 because I was in class, and I pretty much ran a production meeting that was no my responsibility to run. I love Daria to death, but she has no clue, therefore, I'm teaching her to stage manage while taking care of everything else. I take that back- I deserve a 100 because I'm capable of making decisions.
Aside from all the training I've undergone here and what I've learned about art, work ethic and the ability to make a decision is the best thing I've learned here. It's really annoying being in a class with some people who are absolutely incapable of making a decision. Now I know how annoying I must have been as a freshman, I was always like what- how do I do this? What do I do? So, I try to the best of my ability to teach the freshmen something whenever I get the chance, so maybe, but the time they're seniors, they won't be as annoying as some of mine. Like, really? FIGURE OUT WHERE THE TABLE GOES. Why do you need to ask me every five friggin seconds? HELLLOOO COLLEGE!
Aside from all the training I've undergone here and what I've learned about art, work ethic and the ability to make a decision is the best thing I've learned here. It's really annoying being in a class with some people who are absolutely incapable of making a decision. Now I know how annoying I must have been as a freshman, I was always like what- how do I do this? What do I do? So, I try to the best of my ability to teach the freshmen something whenever I get the chance, so maybe, but the time they're seniors, they won't be as annoying as some of mine. Like, really? FIGURE OUT WHERE THE TABLE GOES. Why do you need to ask me every five friggin seconds? HELLLOOO COLLEGE!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
March 4, 2010
PG: 100. Tablework went well today, and i deserve a 100 because this was the first day of tablework for the showcase, and i'm not saying i did everything right, but it felt like an actual rehearsal. it was nice. i felt older though, like. wow. remembering back on my showcase i didn't even do tabkework.
so i had the production meeting with the designers today and it was ok. matt was collaborative... daria didn't seem prepared... sisco isn't a designer so i kinda of just went along with him... hope seemed a little to set in her own ideas to accept that of mine... like saying maybe to stray away from green because javi was using it? i really don't think it will be that big of a deal. but it was a first meeting, so we'll see what happens. oh yeah, i need to send her pictures of pants suites because apparently no one wears them anymore? ok. anyways. uh... tablework, coolbeans. they both have so much energy, it's really refreshing to see them excited and ready to work.
so i had the production meeting with the designers today and it was ok. matt was collaborative... daria didn't seem prepared... sisco isn't a designer so i kinda of just went along with him... hope seemed a little to set in her own ideas to accept that of mine... like saying maybe to stray away from green because javi was using it? i really don't think it will be that big of a deal. but it was a first meeting, so we'll see what happens. oh yeah, i need to send her pictures of pants suites because apparently no one wears them anymore? ok. anyways. uh... tablework, coolbeans. they both have so much energy, it's really refreshing to see them excited and ready to work.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
March 3, 2010
PG: Today, I deserve a 100 percent because I was assigned one of the easiest jobs ever, and I actually took it seriously. I explained some safety stuff to the freshmen and answered questions about the things the encountered. I took the whole "babysitting" thing pretty seriously, everything got on the right track for things to get done, so everything worked out well.
Today was eventful to say the least, and thus, I'm already exhausted and I'm not even done yet. The most eye opening event happened for me today, and it wasn't the result of a lecture or anything. I'm going to college. I'm leaving. This is the last time that I have to deal with the petty bullshit that is our school, and the people who go and work there or work for there. I'm done. And while that's a scary feeling, it's freeing. I have to continue working, but this part of my life is over. I'm going to college, and it's awesome. Ever since yesterday I've been considering teaching. Looking back on my experience with the freshmen was real eye opening, which all leads back to inspiration lying in myself. I definitely want to go to film school and become a film maker... but the Katelin Perry Film Institute still doesn't sound bad :)
Today was eventful to say the least, and thus, I'm already exhausted and I'm not even done yet. The most eye opening event happened for me today, and it wasn't the result of a lecture or anything. I'm going to college. I'm leaving. This is the last time that I have to deal with the petty bullshit that is our school, and the people who go and work there or work for there. I'm done. And while that's a scary feeling, it's freeing. I have to continue working, but this part of my life is over. I'm going to college, and it's awesome. Ever since yesterday I've been considering teaching. Looking back on my experience with the freshmen was real eye opening, which all leads back to inspiration lying in myself. I definitely want to go to film school and become a film maker... but the Katelin Perry Film Institute still doesn't sound bad :)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
What? Am I actually blogging?
PG: 100% Today I deserve a 100 because I actually remembered to to my blog. But seriously, I taught the freshman, and they seemed to understand everything once I explained it to them. I know I'll have to teach at some point, so it's good to get my practice in now.
So two major thoughts for today: Directing, help. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing... which I know I don't, and I just feel like I don't know what the play is about. I did the beats and events, and I feel like none of that is right. I sent you an email about that. Could you help me tomorrow? And another thing, I joined a gym today, and I got a cork. Is there anyway because I'm an acting major this marking level I could incorporate the old journals into this?
So two major thoughts for today: Directing, help. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing... which I know I don't, and I just feel like I don't know what the play is about. I did the beats and events, and I feel like none of that is right. I sent you an email about that. Could you help me tomorrow? And another thing, I joined a gym today, and I got a cork. Is there anyway because I'm an acting major this marking level I could incorporate the old journals into this?
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